Bernalillo,
NM - July 6th
 |
| Highway 139 |
I had to laugh at
Mr. Hot Shot Navigator this morning. I mean this is the guy who spends countless
hours poring over maps, studying his Rand McNally Atlas until its pages are so
dog-eared he had to buy a new one, and who spends so much time in Google Maps
that his Main Squeeze had to have a “serious talk” with him about his priorities
and about ignoring a certain someone who lives with him. (Hint: Not Rio or
me.)
Off we went out of
Rangely, Colorado with enough light to see but not enough light to see colors
yet. This is his favorite time of day. The two lanes of blacktop were empty, but
for a couple of rabbits out looking for breakfast (on the road?). ODB was in
fine spirits this morning, singing away in his helmet, something about
turning twenty-one in prison doing life without parole. What
fun.
About ten miles down
the road we pulled over. Not so much singing now, a lot more cussing. Something
was wrong with his GPS device. For some reason the GPS was telling him to make a
U-turn. He turned it off, then back on. He tried pressing the reset button and
resending the destination, but nothing worked. After a bit more swearing and
head scratching, Mr. Hot Shot Navigator made a U-turn, went back ten miles and
made the turn he’d missed to Hwy 139. He asked me not to tell, so don’t say
anything if you see him.
This was one
splendid day of motoring. That 139 route was a doozy. It went along peacefully
enough on the floor of a beautiful canyon. With little traffic to contend with,
paradise was ours alone. Then we crossed a cattle guard and things changed, big
time. A sign warned “OPEN RANGELAND. WATCH FOR CATTLE ON ROAD.” We did. They
were. Who knew cattle could read road signs. Up we went, hairpin after hairpin,
switching back as we worked our way up the side of the canyon to the 8000-ft
pass. Coming down the other side was equally exhilarating. This proved to be the
perfect warm-up for US 550, The Million Dollar Highway.
We picked up the 550
in Montrose. Just a nice road for many miles as we headed south, but ODB had
boned up on his 550 facts and knew the action started south of Ouray. We fueled
up there. With a fresh tank of premium for me and a bottle of OJ for him, we
were ready for the ride.
He called Al the
Fisherman before we got underway. You see, AtF planted the seed for this trip
when he gave ODB a video tape of a TV show he’d recorded called “The World’s
Most Dangerous Drives.” ODB watched the tape and became obsessed with someday
riding the 550. That was over two years ago. After all that time, today was
finally the day.
About two blocks out
of Ouray the road switches back in a hairpin. By the time you’ve gone half a
mile, you’ve gained several hundred feet of elevation. And so it goes. Really
tight turns with sharp grades made interesting by a sheer precipice on one side
of the road and a wall of rock on the other. There were places where the fog
line was missing as it had fallen into the abyss. And so it went until we
crossed the pass at 11,111 feet. Same thing on the way down. Guard rails? What
guard rails. Who needs guard rails? With zero tolerance for error, and dire
consequences unless you packed a parachute, the adrenalin was flowing for him,
the octane was flowing for me.
On this perfectly
beautiful summer Colorado morning, ODB finally got his dream ride. Me? I must
say, I kicked ass. With 120 inches of combustion, 120 horses of power, 130 lb-ft
of torque, seven gears of Baker transmission, and mechanical upgrades too
numerous to mention, my performance today was simply awesome, if I do say so
myself. This is what I was made for. Him too.
As we motored across
New Mexico’s interior, his happy disposition persisted. He’s hitting his stride
now. Not so much wiggling around in the seat. More relaxed riding.
Once again, ODB was
singing . . .
And I turned
twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No one could
steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to
raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only
me to blame ‘cause Mama tried.
(Google Map Update)
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